dragonfruit milk madness

Neon pink drinks now, really? Like kids need their own version of Las Vegas in a cup. So there’s this useless idea floating around where you can make your own ‘exciting’ pink dragonfruit milk. News flash, kids already are hyped enough, you don’t need to add a ridiculous splash of color to the mix to get them bouncing off walls like minions hopped up on sugar. Just imagine the mess when this thing spills – a crime scene of neon pink everywhere. Wonderful. Just what every parent wanted.

If I wanted my kitchen to look like a reenactment of a unicorn tornado, I’d have planned for it.

And let’s not forget the joy of explaining to parents why their kids are suddenly campaigning for more obscure ingredients instead of accepting good ol’ chocolate syrup. These marketers want us to believe dragonfruit is an antioxidant powerhouse or whatever that means. Apparently, feeding our kids powdered exotica is reasonable now. Can’t wait for dragonfruit milk spills to become the new normal – move over toddler cereal mishaps. You think any parent has time to clean neon pink milk off everything and keep their sanity intact?

It’s like they want us drowning in trendy powders and corn syrup while someone somewhere drinks another uninspired health drink and chuckles at the chaos they’ve spread. Whatever.

Anyway, if you’re interested in more real talk, you might stumble upon some semblance of truth over at this specific text. Or not. Who cares.