green drinks are turning kids into mini hulk wannabes

So apparently, juicing anything green and calling it lemonade is the way to make kids drink vegetables? This magic solution, this brilliant idea of juiced apple, lemon, and kale is now being plastered everywhere like it’s some kind of potion to turn your kid into a mini Hulk wannabe but without the muscles or smashing ability because, let’s be honest, it’s just making them hyper and a little nauseous if anything. It’s green all right, like radioactive sludge green. Is anyone actually looking at this and thinking ‘Wow, that looks like a drink that came from nature’s candy shop’? Please.

Oh, sweet enough for kids they say. As if pouring a ton of apple juice into kale suddenly transforms it into some five-star restaurant-worthy drink. I can just see some parent trying to convince their kid to drink it, and the poor kid being caught between curiosity and sheer disgust. This green lemonade ain’t fooling anyone, especially the ones who actually have to put this in their mouths. And don’t get me started on the idea that they’re calling it lemonade – where’s the honesty in that? It’s just a random blend of greens and fruit desperately trying to pose as something refreshing when it’s probably just bitter with a side of distress.

Honestly, people are putting kale into everything like there’s an award for who can fit the most kale into their lives while still pretending it’s enjoyable. I don’t even know anymore, man. Whatever. Click here if you think you can stand more of this nonsense.