ugh, bulletproof coffee

So, I’m sitting here looking at this so-called “Bulletproof Coffee.” Who decided that shoving a stick of butter in my morning brew was a good idea? Like I want to feel like I’m drinking from a melted candle just to follow some keto nonsense. Seriously, the *butter!* You know what goes in coffee? Coffee goes in coffee. Not butter, not magic oils, not some kind of culinary science project.

And have you ever just sat there waiting for the butter to melt and mix? It’s a 10-minute exercise in futility. Watching fat blobs bob around like they own the joint. Meanwhile, everyone raves about this like it’s liquid gold straight off the end of a rainbow. Have these people actually tasted it? Or are they all just pretending to enjoy their greasy morning buzz?

I get it, it’s supposed to give ‘sustained energy’. But hey, news flash, regular coffee already did that without pretending to be the love child of breakfast and drink. And I’m not even going to touch on the mess it makes if you dare to spill it – all that oil and grease everywhere.

Bored yet? Because I am. Whatever.

I’m done.