neon pink dragonfruit insanity

So, have you seen this neon pink dragonfruit abomination masquerading as milk for kids? I’m not sure when we decided children’s drinks needed to look like they escaped from a neon sign factory, but here we are, drowning in fluorescence. Seriously, someone thought, ‘Hey, dragonfruit is already pretty wild on its own, how about we add some milk and make it visually attack children’s eyeballs.’ Absurd.

And don’t even get me started on the sugar. Whoever decided that this radioactive concoction needed to be overwhelmingly sweet probably also thinks circus clowns made out of sugar are an appropriate breakfast item. How about this for a thought: maybe children don’t need drinks that resemble a chemistry experiment gone wrong? But nah, let’s just cover it up with the excuse of being ‘antioxidant rich’ because apparently, throwing some healthy-sounding words into the mix magically makes its garishness disappear. Like coating broccoli in chocolate syrup because it’s ‘rich in fiber.’

If you feel compelled to subject your kids’ poor innocent eyes and taste buds to this spectacle, good luck. More fun ideas are waiting here. But honestly, I’m done. Whatever.